Excellent Article Forwarded To Me From a Friend....

The Price of Adoption

Posted December 14th, 2009 @ 8:02 am by Amy Adair

“How much did she cost?” the cashier at the grocery store asked, pointing to my daughter.

I nervously shifted Evie, on my hip and swiped my credit card. My husband and I had just gotten home from Beijing, China, with our new daughter and I wasn’t prepared for prying questions from strangers.

“How much did you pay for your car?” I shot back.

She wrinkled her forehead, frowned, and was obviously offended by my question.

“I’d just heard that it was $100,000 to adopt from a China,” she hissed.

“It’s not $100,000,” I sighed. “She didn’t cost a penny. We did, however, pay a social worker and an agency to help facilitate the adoption.”

As I headed back to my car, I had a sinking feeling that more people would ask the same question. I was right. The first week Evie was home, my dentist, a neighbor, and a stranger at the park all wanted to know: How much?

It is true, adoption isn’t cheap. There are a lot of fees that add up quickly. We paid for a home study, visas, passports, immigration papers, plane tickets, and hotels. Quite honestly, it is a financial sacrifice. But so are other things that people don’t question, like sending your child to college. People find a way to do it. Much like financing a college education, there are grants, loans, and federal tax credits available to adoptive parents.

I wonder, though, what’s the cost of not adopting? It was never God’s intention for children to grow up in an orphanage without the love of a mother or father. Clearly God weeps for those who suffer, especially the fatherless. In fact, in Matthew 19:14, Jesus berates his disciples for turning children away from him. Jesus invites the children to stay and declares that the kingdom of Heaven belongs not to the grown-ups but to the kids. It is one of the many beautiful pictures in the Bible that illustrates God as our Abba or Father.

It is also a call to action. Just as Jesus welcomed the children, he asks us to reach out to the neediest to the least of these.

Imagine what would happen if every Christian world-wide cared for orphans? I know not every Christian is called to parent an orphaned child. But I do believe that Christ calls every Christian to care for and support the fatherless. That could be praying for an adoptive family, supporting an adoption cause, or sponsoring a waiting child.

Financing an adoption isn’t the price tag that should shock people. It’s the cost of standing by and doing nothing that should leave Christ-followers speechless.

...from ThinkChristian.net

Home Sweet Home!

Sorry for the delayed post. We've been busy playing.

We returned home at around 10:00 p.m. on Sunday. After a long flight, all is well with the world and our family is complete. Dima decided that he didn't want to sleep on the 11 hour flight so that was nice. I think he wanted to test the stamina of his new parents. Actually it worked out good because he has adjusted to US time very well. He fell asleep just as we were hearing the pilot announce our decent into Atlanta. Oh well.

Once home, he was introduced to his two sisters and grandma (Teddi's mom). The girls were beside themselves. They could not believe it. They actually had a new baby brother!

After a good nights sleep, we all stayed home on Monday to get aquainted with each other. He is a very good baby. Sleeps good and just has a terrific demeanor. Even did fairly well with Albert (our Bulldog) sniffing his face.

We'll post more photos soon. Thank you all for your support throughout this process. Someday we'll be able to tell Dima about the literally hundreds of people that made this possible. From family, friends, co-workers, to the throngs of people who donated goods for our two massive garage sales last year, we have been blessed beyond belief during this long journey. It is really overwhelming to think about the support we have recieved.

Moscow Zoo

Today we ventured off to the Moscow Zoo. We thought about trying our hand at the subway, but I chickened out. Teddi was disappointed. But really, things were going so well, what good could come out of the two of us venturing off on a train with no english signs loaded with thousands of Russians with our baby who had just recovered from bronchitis? We chose to walk.

The weather was beautiful. Sunny and 70 degrees. We had a great time. The zoo was huge. Not quite up to American standards, but was very good none the less.

Tommorow is the day! We leave at around 1:00 p.m. Moscow time and arrive home at around 8:30 p.m. EST.

Now that's more like it

Good News. Not sure if it was the prune juice or the very long nap, but I feel better, which means Mommy and Daddy feel better too!

Here is a picture of me and Daddy at Red Square.

Slow down Mommy and Daddy

Hey everyone, it's me Dima. I think mommy and daddy need to slow it down with the solid foods that you Americans eat like McDonald's cheeseburgers, french fries, chicken, etc. etc. I was feeling fine until they fed me that garbage. Now my tummy is stopped up like a cork! I sent daddy out to the grocery store to get me some prune juice to loosen me up a little. We'll see how that goes (both he actually figuring out how to find prune juice in a Russian grocery store and whether it will actually help ease the pain in my tummy)! Is it too much for them to continue with my cereal and tea for goodness sake!

No more Pink for our SON!

Although Dima's passport photo was taken in his beautiful purple hand crocheted suit, we can now dress him in anything we like so there will be no more pink, at least until Grace and Tori get ahold of the poor little thing.

Here are some recent photos. He is still small relative to most 1 yr. old babies, but it shouldn't take long to fatten him up the way he has been eating. His progress has been amazing. When Teddi picked him up last week he couldn't sit up on his own. He now does so with little problem and has progressed to eating solid foods as well. He had his first McDonald's cheeseburger today for lunch!

The Russians are Coming!

We recieved his Visa and are officially done. Now we are U.S. tourists and Dima will be a U.S. citizen as soon as we land on U.S. soil!

Today we walked down to Red Square and did some sight seeing. May 9th is called Victory day and is the holiday that celebrates the Russian victory over Nazi Germany in 1945. They are preparing Red Square for the parade and festivities. Each night they have been practicing the parade route, which we were unaware of, but would have been valuable information to have had before heading off to bed last night...continue reading for comic relief.


Let me set up the story by explaining that our hotel room faces the main street in Moscow, which is the parade route. Being unware of the practicing, we awoke last night to loud sounds coming from the street below. So I go over to the window, peel back the curtains, and this is what we see (video below). Now you tell me, if you woke up in the former Soviet Union in the middle of the night and saw this outside your window, what would you do? I nearly wet myself.

Tomorrow is May Day so we are going to a big park in the city for a festival and concert of some kind.

Final Steps

We are beginning the final steps in the process. What a journey it has been. We are now applying for Dima's visa through the US Embassy. We will have it completed on Thursday evening. Today we went to the Embassy in person. It was much less impressive that either of us had envisioned. No big white columns, no american flag??? Oh well, it served it's purpose. While there, we met two other families from Indiana who were adopting and one of them was using our agency so that was pretty cool.

We ate at a KFC today. Fast food chicken never tasted so good!

Shane's on his way

After I got the call this morning, we decided that the best thing would be for me to travel to Russia ASAP. After dealing with the airlines all morning (what a joy), we found out that with the change fees and difference in fares, we won't be able to return home until Sunday. We will be done with all processing of Dima's immigration paperwork on Thursday, but will have to spend a few extra days in Moscow. I'm on my way!

We got it!!!

Teddi called this morning to tell me that we got the passport! She is now in Moscow and will go to the Embassy tomorrow. We are trying to decide now what to do about my travel. We will be done with everything and able to return home on Thursday, but at this point the flights are very expensive so it is not an option for me to do that so....here are our two options that we are weighing:

1. Teddi travels home alone with Dima on Thursday OR
2. I travel over and we all return home on Sunday

We'll keep you posted. Thank you all for your prayers. They have been answered. Dima is healthy and we got the passport so perhaps God was just waiting for Dima to get well before traveling.

Still waiting...

We did not get the passport today (Friday) so we are still in waiting mode. I will not be traveling tomorrow as planned since we have no idea at this point when we will be able to return home. As soon as we get the passport, I will leave for Moscow.

On a more positive note, Dima is beginning to show signs of improvement. The doctors think that they may even be able to reduce his treatments to once per day. Teddi said that believe it or not he actually seems happier than he was. She also said that he was able to sit up for a few seconds on his own today.

Teddi is holding up pretty well given the situation. She's tough.

Update

Teddi and I spoke last night and again this morning. Dima does not appear to have improved at this point so they are continuing the medication and breathing treatments. We are still waiting for the passport, which is at this point the limiting factor on when we can proceed. We have arranged for a doctor to visit our hotel in Moscow to continue treatments if and when we are ever able to re-locate back to Moscow. Again, this all depends on when we get the passport.

I was able to consult with our specialist that we have contracted in Seattle last night as well and she agreed with all of the treatments that he is recieving so this was comforting news.

Teddi seems to be in good spirits. I think she is in "mommy" mode right now and is just doing what mommy's do. Dima is still smiling and laughing through it all. He has figured out how to play the ol' "If I throw my toy out of the crib, mommy will get it and play with me game".

I am still scheduled to leave Saturday morning, but are playing it by ear at this point.

Thank you all for your prayers.

Tough times in Tver

Well, the delayed passport is the least of our worries now. Dima has come down with a bad case of bronchitis that has required medical attention. The doctor at the orphanage examined him today and gave him medicine. Teddi said that he was sleeping and breathing better after the treatment, but that the doctor would re-examine him later in the evening. If his lungs do not sound better by then, he may need to be admitted to the hospital.

Please keep both Teddi and Dima in your prayers right now. At least he has his mommy with him. Teddi said that even being as sick as he is, he is still all smiles. I'll post information as soon as I hear more.

Shane

Introducing Dmitry Shane Barney

This is the video of the very first time we met him.

Here he is in his Sunday best. This has been an on-going joke with us. Every time the caretakers bring him out to us he is either in Pink, Purple, or some other feminine color. Today it was a crocheted purple suit with a hood! Don't worry, he'll be in a Florida Gator jersey before you know it.

This one is a little blurry, but it really shows his personality. This smile is very typical of our "Sunny Boy".

The Glitch

Well, of course things were moving along a little too smoothly. Our translator took our documents to the office where we will obtain Dima's passport. Evidently, TODAY a new policy took effect that the children's passports cannot be issued in two days as we had planned. Actually, at this point, we have no idea how long we are talking here. We are putting together an application that requests them to expedite the process as they did before today because we already have flights booked and as of 6:30 tonight, he will be in my care.

Please pray that they will accept this request. I would have no choice but to stay no matter how long the wait since Dima will no longer be registered in the orphanage, will be in my care, yet will not have a passport to travel anywhere.

Today is the day!!!!

Sorry I haven't updated the blog sooner. I brought my new computer with me, but unfortunately the cord has three prongs and my adapter only takes two prongs. Sheesh! So, I have been limited to say the least. Oh well.

The flights went well on Saturday and Sunday. Thankfully, since I am on my own this week, the person who was supposed to be at the airport to meet me was there. :-) We came straight to Tver (yes, that is the region our little Dima is from). It is apporximately 100 km north of Moscow. All of the snow is gone. The timing of our trips have been pretty cool. When we first came in the beginning of March, it was covered in snow. Our second trip the beginning of April had some snow, and now it is all melted. I would love to see it here in the summer when everything is green. I find Tver to be a beautiful city. It is located on the Volga river, which is a very large river in Russia. Our first trip we saw men ice fishing and the last two trips we have seen people kayaking & canoeing.

I was able to see Dima on Sunday afternoon. He finally has a tooth that has broken through, and several more to follow soon. I was also able to see him Monday morning. However, when it was time for our visit on Monday afternoon they said he had a fever from his teeth. The next time I will see him I will be breaking him out of there! I was torn between taking him this afteroon or waiting until Thursday. I considered waiting simply because once I have him, we will be essentially confined to the hotel room. It is still cold here and since he has never been outside I did not want to risk him getting sick. BUT, I am not waiting to get him! No way. I don't know what I was thinking even considering it. I have waited too long for this day....and it's my birthday. What better way to celebrate?

It was interesting buying food for him yesterday. You take for granted raising a child from birth. You already know their likes and dislikes, what they are allergic too, exactly how much they eat and drink. We mentioned in an earlier post that they gave the babies tea to drink. When shopping for his food, I saw that they even sell baby chai (tea). I can't believe it!

As I mentioned earlier, my computer is not working. I am at the computer in the 'business center' of the hotel. Unfortunately, my pictures of Dima are on my computer, which has no charge left on it. I was really hoping to post pictures (FINALLY) of him today. Perhaps my hubby can do it from home.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. Can you believe THE day is finally here? I cannot! I hope to post more soon. I will email Shane to ask that he post pictures. Dmitry is such a little doll. I am sure that you will agree. :-)

~Teddi

It's Official!!!!!!!

Today was one of the greatest days of our lives. After 1 1/2 hours of court, the judge congratulated us on the addition of our son, Dmitry Shane Barney. We must wait the required 10 days before bringing him home so Teddi will return to Russia on the 18th to begin the "out-processing" paper work like getting his passport, visa, etc. She will be in the region for 1 week with him while this paperwork is being completed. We have decided that Shane will wait and come a week later and meet them in Moscow for the remainder of the paper work and trip home. This will trim the time away from the girls at home from 2 weeks to 1, not to mention reduce the time away from work.

Court went very well. The judge asked some tough questions, but she did so in the best interest of the children, which we respect.

Interesting note: Based on the orthodox calendar, today is the day that the angel came to Mary and told her that she would be a mother and bring forth a son.

Day 1 of Court

Had a close call last night when Teddi got some kind of stomach bug. She pulled through and is feeling better, but was feeling absolutely terrible during the night. We think that it may have been something that she ate, but aren't sure. She's been treading lightly today. Lot's of Sprite.

Today was our first of two days in court. This was considered the "pre-trial". The judge reviewed all of our documents and read for the permanent record. She asked some simple questions of us, but most were just to verify our documents accuracy. This was the easy part. Tomorrow is when the real fun begins. We will be questioned for nearly an hour on various aspects of our life, the adoption, etc. We begin at 3:00 p.m. local time, which is 7:00 a.m. EST. We will most likely update the results when we return to Moscow tomorrow evening. We have been told not to worry, but until the judge says those magic words, we aren't taking anything for granted. We have been asked to prepare short statements to present to the court tomorrow stating why we deserve to adopt.

After court, we were able to have another visit with "the little guy" this afternoon. He was his normal happy self, especially when we put him in the Johnny Jumper! Bounce..Bounce..Bounce.. We'll see him again in the morning and very quickly after court before we head back to Moscow. We will then fly back home on Wednesday and get home around 10:00 p.m.

Thank you all for your support and prayers. Tommorrow is the big day!

Favorites...

Dobre-dyen (Good afternoon)! We are updating our blog from our new favorite place in the region. We happened upon a groovy little coffee/tea shop that is around the corner from our hotel with yummy desserts and tea and free Wi-Fi. This will make calling home much better.

This morning before our visit with "Little Guy" we explored the flea market which is only open on the weekends. Another great experience that we will not forget. It was very similar to our flea markets at home. There were a LOT of people, and yet our coordinator said that it is nowhere the size that it used to be. They had everything from chickens and kittens to hub caps, underwear and hats (and everything in between). Shane found his own treasure...hand-made woodworking tools. I had to restrain him from hand-planing the furniture in our room with his new toys.

Here is one part of the market that sells various meats, cheeses, fish, etc. Here is Teddi and Tatiana standing by the "farmers cheese" counter.

Caviar anyone? And this was the small section. I've never seen so much caviar in my life.
More farmers cheese!
The outside of the market. Fresh chicken!

After that adventure we went to the orphanage for our one and only visit for the day. Sunday is the day that they do a deep-cleaning of the facility. We were fortunate that they even allowed us one visit today.

We had lunch at our favorite restaurant in the region, Fortuna. So delicious! (I have to say that Russia has the most delicious feta cheese. I can not find anything like it in the U.S.) The experience at the restaurant this time was a little different. We had our coordinator with us to translate, as they only have menus in French and Russian. Our last trip to the region we went on our own thinking that they had a menu in English. They did not, nor did they speak English. Interesting, to say the least. We still loved it and were thrilled to return today. We are planning to have lunch at this restaurant again after our final court on Tuesday. Great way to celebrate! Below is a photo of Teddi's meal and one of the three of us together (Teddi, me, and our coordinator, Tatiana). The food is as good as it looks!

This evening we will prepare for court with our coordinator. We will be in court Monday morning and Tuesday. We have been told that each session will be approximately 1-1/2 hours. We will be happy for this part to be over. So close!

Hope to update again soon...

A little sight seeing

We can't wait to publicly disclose the exact location of our "Region" and of course post pictures of our son, but according to law, we must wait until the process is final.

Today, we did a little sight-seeing on our own around town. Here is a photo of Teddi on a bridge over-looking the Volga river that runs through town.

It is still very cold here, but a little warmer than our first trip. Much of the snow has melted and the sun even came out today!